To Fetch A Pail of Water Er Rum
by Insane Elven Pirate
Summary: One-Shot! Jack and Will go on a quest to get some Rum from 'The Fountain of Rum'


Insane Elven Pirate: Hi people! This is my first one-shot fic.  
  
Chad: Do you EVER write anything serious?  
  
Insane Elven Pirate: I've tried. It didn't quite work out so well.  
  
Chad: Insane Elven Pirate does not own Lord of the Rings.  
  
~*~  
  
One fine day in Tortuga a ship pulled into the docks. The ship was called the Black Pearl. It's Captain, Jack Sparrow was in need of some rum. He had brought his good friend Will Turner along with him. After letting the rest of the crew go gallivanting in pubs, Jack and Will headed off to a very special pub. This pub was different from all he other pubs because, actually no it wasn't different. A pubs a pub and since there are so many pubs in Tortuga none of them are special.  
  
So Jack and Will were in this pub. Which pub you ask? It doesn't matter since they are all the same, but I suppose I could give you a name. It was called.............The Sick Dragon. I suppose you're sorry you asked right? No? Well that's up to you. Personally, I think it's a dreadful name though I guess you can't really blame them since all the good names have already been taken.  
  
The Sick Dragon was nearly deserted on that fine day that Jack and Will were there. But hey! Who would want to go into a pub called The Sick Dragon anyways? After Jack had ordered the two of them drinks, the two sat talking. Mostly about the latest treasure Jack had pillaged.  
  
Jack was in the middle of telling Will about a beautiful statue he had picked up from a passenger ship headed to Spain when they're drinks arrived. The mugs were in the shape of dragons and the handles were the dragon's fiery vomit. Lovely picture, eh? Jack immediately gulped half of his down while Will took tentative sips.  
  
"Ah, Will! You should have become a pirate! It's loads of fun! The thrill from doing something you know you shouldn't is exhilarating!" Jack said wiping his mouth.  
  
Will shook his head while taking a drink. He put his mug down and replied, "No thanks Jack! Being married is its own adventure!"  
  
Jack shrugged. "Suit yerself!" he said before finishing off his drink.  
  
About an hour later Jack and Will exited the pub. They were walking down the streets, and Jack was swaggering more than usual. Will however, having only one mug, was fine.  
  
Suddenly Jack stopped and looked up at a hill. He brought a hand up to shade his eyes from the sun. Will followed his gaze. "What's that?" he asked, referring to the small well at the top of the hill.  
  
"That, my boy, is the Fountain of Rum!" Jack replied grinning.  
  
"But it's a well!" Will pointed out.  
  
"Eh, the guy who named it was drunk and called it a fountain instead."  
  
Will shrugged. "So what's the deal with this 'fountain'?"  
  
"It's filled with the best tasting rum in the world! The well and the hill it's on are both cursed, making it impossible for anyone to actually draw a pail of rum from it! No one's ever actually got to taste any."  
  
"Then how do they know it's the best tasting rum in the world?"  
  
Jack looked thoughtful for a minute. Then a smile came on to his face as and idea popped into his head. "I know!" he cried. "We could find out! It will be a mission! You could be a pirate! Temporarily of course!" Jack added as he saw the skeptical look on Will's face.  
  
"Well....." Jack got down on his knees and pouted. "Oh all right!"  
  
"Great!" Jack jumped up and fished a small coin purse from his pocket. He pulled out five coins and handed them to Will. "You go buy a pail! I'll go get supplies!" Jack said and then sauntered off.  
  
Will turned and headed the opposite way. "Where am I supposed to find a pail in this town?" he asked looking at the coins Jack gave him. When he looked up he saw a shop that was called 'Maggie's Pail Emporium'. "I guess that could work!" Will said strolling inside.  
  
Inside the shop there were many pails to choose from. Big ones, little ones, thin ones, fat ones. There were pails in the shape of cubes, triangles, even hexagons! There were blue ones, grey ones, green ones, pink ones, etc. etc. After browsing the entire shop Will finally picked out a medium sized grey one that cost three coins.  
  
He brought it up to the counter to pay for it. When he got there he found it was deserted. "Um hello?" Will called out and rang a small bell. "Hello?" he called again and rang the bell again. "Is anyone there?" This time he rang the bell continuously.  
  
A small skinny woman came from the back room and snatched the bell away. "Hi, I'm Maggie, what can I do for ya?"  
  
"I'd like to purchase this pail," Will said setting the pail on the counter.  
  
Maggie inspected the pail. "Are you sure you want this one?" she asked. "It's so............bland! I have many other pails you can purchase! Like this one!" she pulled an oddly shaped, tan colored pail out from under the counter. "It's called Picasso's tan! Or possibly this one!" She pulled out a light blue one with a sand colored bottom. "This is our sandy beach pail!"  
  
"No, I think-"Will started.  
  
"Or perhaps you'd like our Heartthrob pail!" Maggie interrupted pulling out a red, heart shaped pail.  
  
"The one I've got-"Will tried again but was again cut off.  
  
"Maybe our Lucky Pail!' Maggie exclaimed pulling out a dark green, four- leaf clover shaped pail.  
  
About an hour and 57 pails later Maggie had stopped showing Will her pails. "So! What'll it be?" Maggie asked over the mountain of pails now on the counter.  
  
"This one!" Will says annoyed holding up the original pail.  
  
"Alright, suit yourself!" Maggie says shrugging her shoulders. "That'll be four shillings please!"  
  
"But the tag says three!" Will cried.  
  
"Tax!" Maggie explained.  
  
Will sighed and gave her the coins.  
  
"Would you like a bag for that?"  
  
"No thanks, I'm fine!"  
  
"Alright, have a nice day!" Maggie called after Will as he left the shop.  
  
Will sighed and started heading in the way Jack had headed earlier, when he heard a voice behind him.  
  
"Oy! Will! Over here!" Jack cried. Will turned and saw him waving. Will started heading towards Jack but stopped when he saw the pile of stuff Jack had behind him. He had two tents, sleeping bags, ten days worth of food and water, some fire wood, pots and pans, lanterns, two backpacks filled with who knows what, and extra clothes for the both of them. And of course rum.  
  
"Jack! What's all this?" Will cried. "The hills only about five hundred feet high!"  
  
"Aye, but you can't be too careful now can you?" Jack asked.  
  
Will sighed and shook his head. What had he gotten himself into? "We best get started then."  
  
"That's the spirit!" Jack smiled and picked one of the backpacks and strapping the tent on to it. Will did the same with the other.  
  
The two started the trek up the hill. No sooner than had they gone ten feet than had it started to pour rain. Will sighed and turned around and noticed that it was perfectly dry and sunny in Tortuga. A confused look came on his face. "Jack....?" he started to ask.  
  
"I told you! This hill's cursed!" Jack said answering the unasked question.  
  
When it was impossible to go any farther Jack stopped. "Alright! Time to set up camp!" he called back to Will. The two set up their tents and unrolled their sleeping bags inside. They took off their wet clothes and put on some dry ones.  
  
Will lay awake in his tent. He could hear Jack's loud snoring over the pouring rain from outside. He was about to drift off to sleep when a loud snort from Jack startled him awake again. He sighed and closed his eyes again. It wasn't until around midnight that he fell asleep.  
  
Will woke up the next morning as the smell of bacon drifted in his nose.  
  
He groggily stepped out of his tent and saw Jack smiling at him. "Mornin' Will!" He said holding a plate of bacon out to him.  
  
Will grumbled and glared at Jack. Taking the plate of bacon he sat down next to Jack and started eating.  
  
After they had breakfast they continued their trek up the still muddy hill. Suddenly Jack slipped on some mud and rolled down the hill. Will spun around and in doing so also slipped. The two continued rolling down the hill and blacked out when they hit a rock.  
  
A day later the two walked out of the Tortuga Hospital. "Goodbye!" Jack called waving back to the depressed looking nurses.  
  
"We'll miss you Jack!" One cried. "Don't forget to write!" called another.  
  
Will rolled his eyes. "You seemed to enjoy your stay there!" he commented dryly.  
  
Jack nodded. "Yep! They're nice girls! So helpful! So! You ready to tackle the hill again?"  
  
Will stopped in his tracks. "You can't be serious!" he cried. "After all that you want to go back up there?"  
  
"Sure why not?" Jack asked.  
  
Will sighed.  
  
Three hours later the two finally made it to the top of the hill. Jack let out a shout and danced around happily. "We made it! We made it! HA! Take that you stupid hill!" He cried.  
  
"Er... Jack? I wouldn't be so excited if I were you...." Will said.  
  
Jack turned to Will. "And why's that?" he asked.  
  
"We forgot the pail!"  
  
~*~  
  
Insane Elven Pirate: Ok so not one of my best fics.  
  
Chad: Please Review? 


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